11. Do Not Invite Your Friends On The Date To “APPROVE” Of The Date. If you cannot decide for yourself if you like someone then you have deeper issues than finding a date. This also means you do not have any character judgment so inviting a friend, who shouldn’t be a friend then since you do not have the ability to judge someone yourself, is not going to help.
12. Lecturing and Giving Advice! It is great to have viewpoints and opinions, but sometimes people need to learn when keep those points to themselves. For example, criticizing what they order or telling them their diet habits are “awful”, is not the way to ‘win friends and influence people’. In fact, it is the quickest way to end a date. People need to understand that different viewpoints and opinions are what make people unique.
13. Ladies and Gentlemen...May I Have Your Attention! On a date, women should act like ladies and men should act like gentlemen. Sounds easy enough, right?
- Gentlemen-Open doors! Chivalry is not dead unless by some chance you are dating Susan B. Anthony.
- Ladies-Do not take longer than 5 minutes in the bathroom. Save the text message critiques to your friends for after the date. Even then, make up your own mind about how the date went and what YOU thought.
- Gentlemen-Do not order for the Lady. Women do have brains and should be able to decide for themselves what they want to eat. Likewise…
- Ladies-do not order through your date. You do not need to look to him for approval as to what you are ordering.
- Don’t bash the opposite sex. If you are on a date with someone OF the opposite sex…there might be a slight conflict of interest if you exclaim comments like, “all men are assholes.” Just a guess though.
- Don’t feed each other unless you want the people around you to throw up. Pass the plate, pass the fork but this is not the time for a scene from 9 ½ Weeks.
- Don’t have a drinking contest (Yes, I need to take heed to this one!) Exclaiming to your date that you can ‘out-drink’ them is not a sure-fire way to a second date.
14. First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage...NO! First comes the first date and don’t blow it by talking about wanting to get married and/or having kids. Maybe not even by the fifth date! Look, getting married and having kids can be a goal but it is not a way to start off a relationship. Why you ask? Because at the get-go people are just getting to know each other. The love and trust that needs to (or at least should) be present when you are considering marriage, you will not find on the first date. You are not the Montague’s and Capulet’s.
15. The X Factor. You’d be surprised how many people start talking about their past relationships right away. Maybe at some point during a long term relationship, two people can briefly discuss their past relationships, as this does help someone to learn about a person and what they have gone through. But leave out all the intimate details! If you explain how Dick cheated on Jane with Jane’s best friend when she was at work trying to support his ‘broke ass’ and then he ran up a $10,000 credit card bill gambling, drinking and going to strip clubs and now Jane’s best friend is pregnant with Dick’s baby…obviously you are still unresolved about the relationship. Relationships, any kind, are still experiences and you should learn from them. The focus should not be on who did what to whom but about what you learned and took away from the experience to try to make yourself a better person and spouse.
16. Be on time!!! Ladies, I know this mostly pertains to you but please do not leave your date waiting more than 5 minutes for you. No, he does not enjoy having your cats crawl over him while he sits uncomfortably on your couch with your parents/roommates/etc. giving him the Spanish Inquisition.
17. Common Places-do not go to a place you are a regular at. Most likely you will run into someone you know and many people then become distracted from their date. Also, do not sit at the bar on a date. Watching the television at a pub ‘n grub is not the environment for getting to know someone.
18. No Flirting With Someone Else! Bar and wait staff are the most accessible but no, they do not want your number. And if they do flirt back, they probably just want a bigger tip.
19. Don’t Talk About Yourself The Whole Date. “I…I…I…” Your date might start to think that is the only vowel you know in the English language. Having a conversation, whether on a date or not, is an exchange of ideas and experiences. Share with one another!
20. Don’t Ask Stupid Questions… “What do you find attractive about me?”… “Do my boobs look even?” Yes, people actually ask these questions. For what reason, I assume to bring attention to a particular feature or for a self-esteem boost. For more examples, see The Ten Date-Killing Questions.
The Ten Date-Killing Questions!
1. How many people have you slept with? As much as you might want to know…don’t ask.
2. Where was the most interesting place you had sex? Again, as much as you might want to know…don’t ask!
3. Do I have something in my teeth? Just go to the bathroom and look for yourself. And if you say this as a ploy to get someone up close to your mouth, than that is just, well, pathetic!
4. Have you ever cheated on someone? “Yes, in fact I am cheating right now by dating you.”
5. Where do you see yourself in five years? This is a question for a job interview…not a date.
6. Are you a member of the mile-high club? And if you live in Denver, you already know the answer to this.
7. What was your last girlfriend/boyfriend like and/or have you ever been in love? These are not questions to ask until much later in the relationship. Bringing up past relationships early on is a “no-no”.
8. What is the craziest thing you have ever done? Don’t ask a question you might not want to know the answer to!
9. What’s your bra size? Real or Fake? This one is pretty self explanatory as to why it is inappropriate. Worse off, if you actually respond to the question…
10. Have you ever thought the Taliban was correct in their actions against the U.S? Avoid riot-inciting questions and commentary.
Bonus question and my personal favorite: Did you vote for Bush?
…the second time?
In an effort to be more “positive”, here is a list of Do’s!!!
1. Do ask questions and be generally interested in their answers.
2. Do have a plan! Decide what you both would like to do ahead of time this way you and your date are not asking each other what you want to do all night. Look to establish at least 3 points of the date ahead of time and don’t let the last one be “your place or mine?”
3. Do wear underwear…I know, I know…I am being cheeky.
4. Intros are essential! If you do end up bumping into someone you know, be sure to introduce your date right away. You want to make the person you are with feel comfortable and appreciated.
So I can only think of 4 Do’s for now…give me time, I might come around with a few more eventually. Now get out there and have some fun!!!
Written In Collaboration With Timothy Price
“Love is stronger than any other emotion. When you do have that feeling, it should be cherished and protected with trust, respect and honesty.” Mike Kales Jr.